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Landmark article, May, 2009:
The Difference between a Push and a Shove
by Susan Murtha
(and how it changed my son’s life)
 Silver Lake is our church’s summer camp, serving children and youth, ages 8 to 18. For me, it is a place that has very intense, personal meaning. Why? Because it is my son’s spiritual home— the place where he found God, faith, and spiritual community. (Many people, mistakenly, assume he found those through me—his mother, a minister. Not really!) If you are a parent who yearns for your child or teenager to have the life-giving, life-shaping experiences of God, faith and spiritual community, please read on! I share this story by way of faith-filled encouragement ….
My son did not want to go to camp; he was adamant about that. For a few years I made attempts to encourage him, but to no avail. When he was finishing 5th grade I decided he was old enough for a heart-to-heart about all this. I prayed out every parental tone from my voice (you know all those?!) and spoke from my own spirit. I told him I believed Silver Lake would be a great experience and that, if I were wrong, I felt he was old enough to navigate the week. I also promised that if he didn’t love it, we’d never say the word “camp” again. I said a few other things. Feet dragging a bit, he and a friend signed up together. When I picked him up at the end of his first week at Silver Lake, his young choked voice said, “It was the best week of my life.” (I didn’t take that personally.) The conversation on the drive home was the first of many moving conversations about spiritual community, faith and his own life.
As a minister, I’ve led many workshops on Parenting and Faith and one of the areas I often talk about is the difference between a push and a shove. There are innumerable ways to shove our agenda (actively or passively) on our children; none prove to be worthwhile. That said, as parents, we have the responsibility to sometimes push our children beyond their comfort zones when we believe it will serve them well. How we do that will be key. But if we simply throw up our hands and say, “He doesn’t want to go and so I’m not going to make him,” we may be falling short of our responsibility as their earthly parents. Finding that line between the push and the shove is our own spiritual work; call me if you need some help with it!
My son is not alone in being profoundly shaped by Silver Lake. Hundreds of children and youth experience that every summer and, over its 50-year history, tens of thousands have. As a parent and a pastor, it is my prayer that ALL of our children might have this taste of heaven on earth. YES, there is still time to sign up! Though some weeks and conferences are full, others have openings (again, ages 8 to 18). Here’s the website: silverlake.ctucc.org. We have scholarship assistance available; please speak with Kendrick, Lisa or me.
By the way, I will be serving as the Silver Lake Chaplain for one week this summer. It’s a sweet irony that my son has been the one “pushing” me (for the last 4 years) to take this on. I had an excuse every year and then he had a heart-to-heart with me last winter. “Mom, ….” I said, “Yes.” That same week, Simon (my son) will be Dean of the middle school conference called “Good News.” We are looking forward to sharing this spiritual experience together and we hope to see some Guilfordites there! If your son/daughter is going another week, let me know so I can cheer you on.
Resurrection blessings, Susan
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